Chapter 16

“It was sometime after that that Jesus would go off praying by himself, as He did so often, His disciples nearby. He asked them a question. “What are the crowds saying about me, about who I am?” One of the disciples said, “John the Baptizer. Other say Elijah. Still others say that one of the prophets from long ago has come back.” Then Jesus asked them. “And you-what are you saying about me? Who am I?” Peter, the most outspoken man I have ever met, proudly declares, “The Messiah of God.” I think he might have even surprised himself with his answer, but he said it and didn’t back down from it. Peter lived in the moment most of the time. His new passion for righteouness would often colide with his strong self-centered will and old ways. He had such zeal. If anyone of the disciples were carrying a sword, it would be Peter. There were a few times that Jesus had to admonish Peter for his unruly tongue but the boldness that Peter showed towards the things of God seemed to bring joy to Jesus. To speak and not care who hears or what judgement may come was a quality that I admired in Peter and I think Jesus did also. Peter was always ready for a battle. He did believe that Jesus was the Messiah. After Peter’s declaration, Jesus warned them to keep quiet about what was just said. Then He said that the Son of Man would suffer and die and be raised up alive. And that we should expect to suffer also. “Don’t run from suffering; embrace it” He said. “Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What good would it do to get everything you want and lose you, the real you?” These words left us all baffled. I think everyone was afraid to ask what they meant, so we said nothing. But we all thought about it, a lot. You could see everyone moving through the camp, going about their duties, with a strange look on their face. Like a question mark hung over their heads. What does it mean? Is Jesus the Son of Man, the Messiah? Why would he die? How is revolution accomplished in death? And arise? But who will raise Jesus up from the dead if He is the one in the tomb? My life changed during those days. It was as if I had been walking down a road that was pleasant and comfortable. I felt so complete when I was around Jesus. My life having a purpose, which was to serve Him and to help others. But the same road was leading me down a narrow way that I was unsure of. I enjoyed seeing people healed and fed both physically and spiritually. I looked forward to the debates that Jesus would have with various people of high standings. I loved being a part of something bigger than myself. But suffering? Death? I had come to believe that Jesus was the Son of God, the Messiah, as Peter so boldly put it. I said I would follow Him anywhere and do anything that would bring Glory to God. But suffering and death? How would that bring freedom and peace to God’s people? There were so many questions in my mind. In all of our minds. Jesus went about doing what He had always done. He spent His energy and His love on helping others. As our hearts seemed to slow a bit with the confusing talk of death and suffering, Jesus’ passion seemed to drive Him harder and His words, stronger and more passionate than ever. His times of prayer were more intense and His parables more poinent.”